How did I forget 3 weeks in a row?  Suckage.

1. I’m thankful for beautiful Megan and Baby Loaf. NOW GET OUT!

2. I’m thankful for the lessons that Lucy teaches me everyday.

(No that’s not wine, it’s grape seed oil.  I SWEAR…or something.)

3. I’m thankful for the clarity that Bikram yoga is bringing to my mind.

In class, my eyes would be open but that’s a freaky picture so I won’t share it.  I always wonder (when my mind wanders) if it’s freaky for the teacher to see the 30 or so people in class laying there like dead people with their eyes open?  Maybe I should ask.

A bonus thankful thing?  You see my forehead wrinkles up there?  Either I’ve become much more accepting OR I think they’re not as bad since I started this whole zen yoga thing.  Either answer is A-OK with me!

Megan wrote an amazing post about patience the other day. She should know-she’s been pregnant 5 weeks longer than I ever was.  Today is the start of week 42 for her and she’s ready to meet her baby!  We had Megan and Luke over for dinner last night as I can’t imagine cooking at 42 weeks pregnant and Lucy asked to see her Aunt Megan and Uncle Luke. Megan quickly agreed and requested Japanese Chicken.

While she was over, I got some really precious pictures.  I hope they are the last pictures of this pregnancy for Megan because I hope Baby Loaf makes his/her appearance and soon!

Isn’t she a beautiful pregnant woman and doesn’t she look AMAZING for being 42 weeks!?!?

That belly is big, no doubt, but it’s so beautiful!

Lucy loves her Aunt Megan and for good reason!

I struggle with patience on a daily basis.  I want things NOW and I look forward to them.  I have a hard time living in the moment and appreciating my life for what it is right then.  I’m getting better at this but it is a daily struggle.  Yesterday after yoga, I was thinking some unhealthy thought and I stopped myself and said “I will be what I will be and that will be and is beautiful.” It made me feel better and I instantly wrote it down.

I think that Baby Loaf is trying to teach Mommy, Daddy, and Auntie Chelsea to be patient.  It will be worth the wait.

Do you want to know what was worth the wait?

My Christmas present from my Aunt.  I knew what it was but I didn’t know when it would get here.  It arrived yesterday.

Lurve.  Thank you Aunt Marci, it’s perfect!!!!

Last night, even though I said I wasn’t going to any more, I yelled at Lucy. She was mad at me and hit me hard and I yelled and then I felt really bad and then I made sure to breathe.  I sat down with her and said that it was not okay for either of us to show our anger in the way that we did.  She is not to hit and I am not to yell. We can say “That makes me mad.” But we do not hit or yell.  We hugged and went upstairs, where we saw a beautiful pink sunset.

That picture doesn’t even BEGIN to do it justice.  It was gorgeous.  Lu and I went out on the balcony and enjoyed the amazing sunset.  It was a nice moment.

I’m human and to be human is to err, right Alexander Pope? I learned from my mistake and I hope Lu does too.  It also made me appreciate my daughter a bit more as she was able to forgive me and move on.  I’m learning to do that more. 

I’m thankful for Lucy, she is a great teacher.

5:15 was very early this morning.  I’ve been getting to bed late so it was hard to fall asleep last night.  I was up reading until almost 11:30.  I got up though and I went to yoga.  Before I went, I stepped on the scale and I did not like what I saw, the holidays did my weight no favors.

It was a struggle to love myself unconditionally this morning.  I had many very negative thoughts but I truly tried to fight through them.  Throughout yoga, I was fighting with myself, then on the second set of Rabbit Pose (Sasangasna), near the very end of class, I just felt this overwhelming sense of happiness and calm.

(source)

I left with a big smile on my face and loving myself.  I think the next 28 days are going to be very good for me.

It has also occurred to me that competing in the Half Ironman in June is a goal for the old Chelsea.  The thought of getting in the pool to swim laps and going to spin class sounds AWFUL to me right now, as does the thought of road biking alone.  A Half Ironman demands a very strict training schedule that wouldn’t leave much, if any, room for mountain biking with Shaun or yoga. Training, in the past, has been a very isolating experience for me. One which I relished. I’m not feeling that anymore.  I truly do not enjoy running or road biking with other people and I don’t think I ever will.  I like to be alone when I do those things.  I don’t want to be isolated or alone anymore, I want to be around people and I want to do fun things, not punishing things.  I think my training used to be punishing and I liked it. It’s why I did it.  I don’t want to punish myself any longer.  So, I’m changing my #3 resolution to:

3. Do something active at least 4 times a week. 

After my challenge is over, I’d like to continue to do yoga 3-4 times a
week, run at least 1 time a week, and mountain bike once a week once
the weather will cooperate. And who knows, maybe being active at least 4 times a week will result in that Half Ironman?

*I saw the blog on my sister’s Mac yesterday and it is FUGLY.  I will be making some changes to fix that over the next week.

I went to Bikram today and it was PACKED.  Not surprising in the New Year but I had to practice in a different part of the room than I normally do.  I was right next to the “Challenge Wall”.  It’s the wall where if someone commits to doing 60 classes in 60 days (and then does it), they get to write whatever they want, plus their name, and the date, on the wall. It was so inspiring to see what people wrote and to see all the different dates.  It also felt SO GOOD to be in class.  I felt great about myself and I was thinking very clearly.  I loved the feeling in class today.

As I was walking out of class I heard someone say that they wanted to sign up for the 30 in 30 challenge.  Then I saw a board dedicated to it.  If you finish the 30 in 30, your name will be entered into a drawing and you could win either a month of free yoga or a Lululemon outfit.  I thought to myself, “Why not?” and I signed up. 

Thankfully Shaun is on board because he’ll have to take Lu to daycare 2 days a week vs. the 1 he was doing before.

I came home and figured out my schedule and got really excited.  I can and will do this   My name is up on a board, I HAVE to do this

We’ll see how I feel and if I think I can continue on to do the 60 in 60, then I will.  I’m not ready yet to commit to that one.

Yay for GOOD impulses.

If I don’t win the drawing?  I’ll buy myself a Lululemon outfit anyway-it’s a good reward!

Oh and I threw out 2 pairs of jeans in the last 24 hours.  They don’t fit well and make me feel fat.  Out they go!

I’m a big fan of resolutions.  Remember the 30 I made last year? I hit 23 of them.  I did not hit 7 of them.  Oh well, eh?

Even though I didn’t hit all 30 of my goals last year, I call it a success!  My personal growth last year was huge and I am in a much better place this year than I was last.  I’m so much happier and that’s what counts.

I think maybe it was a bit too ambitious to make 30 goals.  This year I have 3:

1. Love myself unconditionally.
2. Write in my journal EVERY day.
3. Train for and compete in the half ironman in June.
3. Do something active at least 4 times a week.

As a family we have one resolution:

1. Live lean and pay down as much of our debt as we can.  We can almost become debt free by the end of the year if we really put our mind to it.

Lucy has one resolution by the end of the year:

1. Get potty trained!

We’ve all already been working on these so I think they are doable!  Number 1 is going to be the hardest one for me but it’s worth the fight.