5:15 was very early this morning.  I’ve been getting to bed late so it was hard to fall asleep last night.  I was up reading until almost 11:30.  I got up though and I went to yoga.  Before I went, I stepped on the scale and I did not like what I saw, the holidays did my weight no favors.

It was a struggle to love myself unconditionally this morning.  I had many very negative thoughts but I truly tried to fight through them.  Throughout yoga, I was fighting with myself, then on the second set of Rabbit Pose (Sasangasna), near the very end of class, I just felt this overwhelming sense of happiness and calm.

(source)

I left with a big smile on my face and loving myself.  I think the next 28 days are going to be very good for me.

It has also occurred to me that competing in the Half Ironman in June is a goal for the old Chelsea.  The thought of getting in the pool to swim laps and going to spin class sounds AWFUL to me right now, as does the thought of road biking alone.  A Half Ironman demands a very strict training schedule that wouldn’t leave much, if any, room for mountain biking with Shaun or yoga. Training, in the past, has been a very isolating experience for me. One which I relished. I’m not feeling that anymore.  I truly do not enjoy running or road biking with other people and I don’t think I ever will.  I like to be alone when I do those things.  I don’t want to be isolated or alone anymore, I want to be around people and I want to do fun things, not punishing things.  I think my training used to be punishing and I liked it. It’s why I did it.  I don’t want to punish myself any longer.  So, I’m changing my #3 resolution to:

3. Do something active at least 4 times a week. 

After my challenge is over, I’d like to continue to do yoga 3-4 times a
week, run at least 1 time a week, and mountain bike once a week once
the weather will cooperate. And who knows, maybe being active at least 4 times a week will result in that Half Ironman?

*I saw the blog on my sister’s Mac yesterday and it is FUGLY.  I will be making some changes to fix that over the next week.