Just Breathe
Last night, even though I said I wasn’t going to any more, I yelled at Lucy. She was mad at me and hit me hard and I yelled and then I felt really bad and then I made sure to breathe. I sat down with her and said that it was not okay for either of us to show our anger in the way that we did. She is not to hit and I am not to yell. We can say “That makes me mad.” But we do not hit or yell. We hugged and went upstairs, where we saw a beautiful pink sunset.
That picture doesn’t even BEGIN to do it justice. It was gorgeous. Lu and I went out on the balcony and enjoyed the amazing sunset. It was a nice moment.
I’m human and to be human is to err, right Alexander Pope? I learned from my mistake and I hope Lu does too. It also made me appreciate my daughter a bit more as she was able to forgive me and move on. I’m learning to do that more.
I’m thankful for Lucy, she is a great teacher.
Category: Uncategorized | Tags: breathe, hitting, Lucy, sunset, Terrible Twos, yelling 9 comments »
You are an amazing mom Chelsea! I can only imagine how challenging parenting is and I feel like these are the times where you can’t refer to a book, but learn and grow from each opportunity you get.
Thank you Stacy. Sometimes I don’t feel so amazing but I try to make her feel loved and I think I’m succeeding at that. 🙂
Chelsea, I often give into the impulse to yell, too, and I hate it! It is so great that you used this as an opportunity to show Lucy how to admit a mistake and ask for forgiveness – such an important lesson for you to teach her! I have been trying to catch myself before I shout, and I whisper instead. It makes me stop, so that I am not disciplining in anger and get down to their level. I try to keep my voice calm, but very firm. I think that sometimes it can be way more powerful because they can see that I am calm and in control, but I mean business. The one place I ALWAYS seem to fail at this is in the car. Oh well, I’ll be perfect when I’m dead! 😉
I love this idea and I’m so going to try it!
I used to be a yeller when the kids were younger. Drove them crazy. One day I more or less just stopped. I think you are teaching her an important lesson by owning up to your mistake, pointing out that what she did was also wrong, and then moving on, as you say. I’m definitely of the school that thinks it’s okay to say “no hitting” (or biting or spitting, etc.) to a toddler or young child. She will act out again, and you will likely lose it again. It’s a process.
Thank you Jocelyn 🙂 I agree, it’s okay to say “no hitting” it’s just not okay to yell it because then I’m teaching her to yell when she’s upset.
To be hit by your child in a tense moment is very hard to take. I have been in the same place and had the same reactions…both the yelling and then the subsequent feeling horrible about it. It’s a shock when they hit and with Ava I have even had her laugh which made it so much worse. I love the way you handled it and I have had to even walk away. Anything to not yell…I don’t want her to yell and we are the examples. I love that you were both able to have a special moment of forgiveness and reflect…how beautiful.
Thank you Amanda. This age is so hard, isn’t it? Good thing it’s so awesome too!
It is ok to yell sometimes and as I am yelling now, “I LOVE YOU!”
You’re doing a great job with Lucy, she is such a precious child.