I’m still alive. It’s probably a bad time to “start” writing again since we’re leaving for Hawaii in 3 days (yippee btw!). I really miss writing and getting it all out. Once you stop, it’s hard to start again. Work just got too crazy for me to keep up on anything. I’m stalled at the same weight-7 pounds from where I was when I got pregnant. Sleep wins over working out most if not all days (I always said that I’d never be one of THOSE people and I am).

BUT

Life is really great. I LOVE my life and I’m so thankful for it. Lucy turns 1 in less than two weeks (OMFG!) and it’s seriously been the best year (by far) of my life. Hard but awesome. Once we get back from Hawaii weaning starts in earnest and I’m ready. I’ll miss it and it makes me sad that that chapter is ending but I’m ready to have my body back. I could actually go work out in the morning and not have to worry about A) my boobs exploding and B) how Lucy is going to get fed.

I should go to bed (I’m tapping this out on my iPhone) hopefully more tomorrow 🙂

I don’t know if anyone is even looking here anymore. But just in case-I’m alive. I’m so busy that I just checked my Gmail for the first time in 4 days. I’m in the middle of a HUGE project and I’ve been pulling 60+ hour weeks. It’s been awful. I miss my friends! I know that Sabrina is getting married THIS WEEKEND and I haven’t even gotten to read the pre-wedding freak outs or lend any support or excitement. I haven’t read any blogs since about June 15th. I miss you Kath!!! I miss everyone. I miss my life. I literally only have time to eat, sleep, work, and be with Lucy. Shaun only gets to talk to me because he lives with me!!! The only reason I’m able to write now is that I’m so run-down that I had to take a sick day today. I’m coughing, have a sore throat, the chills, the aches, everything. It’s my body’s way of saying STOP!!!

I hope it slows down and that I can find some balance and SOON because this is just not healthy.

In good news-I am getting up every morning and working out. I got P90X and I really like it. I’m a month in and about to start Phase 2.

I miss you all and hope to be back SOON!

Seriously? Titles suck 😉

I’ve been so insanely busy at work that I just haven’t had much time for outside stuff. We went camping this weekend and that was fun but it means that I was out of town 2 weekends in a row and now have a lot of catching up to do at home. It seems that I’m always playing catch up. Either at work, at home, or here! My grand plans of having this blog with 2 daily posts and I can’t even manage one a week. I’ve become one of those really annoying people who blogs about needing to blog.

With that said, I don’t know what to write. Well, I can give you some fun Lucy activity:

-She’s started scooting all around. No crawling but she is mobile!
-She started really babbling this weekend and says Da Da a lot. We don’t know if she knows that that is Shaun but we try to reinforce that Shaun=Da Da.
-She has about 4 teeth trying to poke through.
-She’s started eating chicken and black beans and now feeds herself finger foods!
-I’m going to get cauliflower for her to try this week-I still haven’t tried the coconut milk-maybe this weekend.
-Sleep is still a struggle but we’re working on it. Last night she went to sleep without my nipple in her mouth-baby steps right?!?!?!?

In fun Chelsea and Shaun news-our 4-year wedding anniversary is next week and we’re going out to dinner-just the 2 of us. The last time that happened was in February-I’d say it’s time, wouldn’t you?

I think Lucy has been reading my blog 😉 Ever since my last post she has been pretty close to her “old self”. She’s been happier at night and even lets Daddy play with her while Mommy is in the kitchen/laundry room/bathroom. She also slept 8 PM – 5:30 AM straight through last night!!! We think she’s been cold. It has gotten warmer here and so we had started to just put her in fleece footed pjs with no sleep sack. Well, Shaun though that maybe she wasn’t sleeping because she was cold and suggested the sleep sack last night. It may be a coincidence but she slept like her old self again-that sleep sack is going on tonight-that’s for sure!

We’re headed down to Monterey tomorrow night for the weekend. Shaun has a Mountain Bike race there on Saturday. He’s really been looking forward to this and has been training since January, so it should be a lot of fun.

Lucy gets new foods every Wednesday and Saturday. I can’t decide if she’s going to get black beans or coconut milk on Saturday. Since she can’t have any dairy, I thought the coconut milk would be a great source of fat but black beans would be a great source of protein. Hmmmm. You’d think this was rocket science-really, it’s just feeding a baby 🙂

Oh and this just cracked Shaun and me up. Someone in my 18-unit building posted this above the garbage chute on our floor:

Priceless.

WAS WRONG.

Lucy is going through separation anxiety plus trying to figure out all her emotions and learning how she can get what she wants without having a vocabulary.  It is kicking my butt.  What happened to my happy smiley baby? Sure she’s still happy and smiley alot of the time but she’s starting to throw tantrums and cry and not sleep.  It’s hard.  It’s really hard.  I guess I deserve it.  I had such an easy go of it and now it’s not so easy.  She’s also getting to be more fun-it’s weird.  Her little personality is emerging and we can play with her and know what makes her giggle and get her sense of humor but at the same time if we do something she doesn’t like (like take away the remote or my watch or the keyboard) she throws a tizzy fit.  We don’t give in but then there’s the sleep issue.  Sometimes she just doesn’t want to go to sleep and she’s screams and cries.  What do we do then?  I have never been a fan of the “cry it out” method but I was desperate the other night and tried it.  I let her cry for 5 minutes and then went in there to soothe her.  They tell you to not pick them up but to rather rub their backs and speak gently to them.  When she realized that I wasn’t going to pick her up she got PISSED and started wailing and then choking/gagging.  Of course I picked her up.  Oh and she doesn’t want Daddy through all of this.  If he tries to soothe her and rock her she flails her body, tries to hit him, and screams like someone is hurting her.  It’s exhausting. It took us 2 hours to get her down that night.

Last night she went down without a fight at 7:30 but then woke up at 9:30.  I nursed her and tried to put her back down but she did not want to go to sleep and started screaming.  I tried to soothe her for about 20 minutes but every time I would make a move to put her in the crib she’d start screaming.  Well, I was running on 3 hours of sleep and was tired so I brought her into bed with me and she slept on my chest (after screaming while laying on my chest for 15 minutes) until about midnight (I think?) At that point I put her in her crib.  She woke up at 5 to nurse and started fighting the crib again so I brought her into bed with me again.  Thus giving her exactly what she wanted BUT Mommy needs to sleep!

I know that this is a stage and that it will pass but it is just really hard.  Really, really hard.  I hope it passes quickly.

I have lots of exciting things to talk about!  But first I have to complain about ME.  Lucy woke up last night at 1:30 to eat (I think she must be growing because she ate A LOT yesterday) after I got her back down, I never went back to sleep. WTF?!?!?  That means I got maybe maybe 3 hours of sleep last night.  ARGH.  Oh well.

First I wanted to answer Monica’s question-I know I could have done it in the comments of my post that she commented  on but I’m too lazy so I’ll answer it here-I only keep track of how much milk I pump in my spreadsheet.  She only gets a bottle at daycare.  When we’re home she’s a boob feeder-thank GAWD!  I’ve only ever fed her a bottle once and it was because she was having trouble breathing and was biting me.  She much prefers the boob.

Next-fun stuff!

I planted my garden yesterday:

Tomatoes:

Cucumbers and Bell Peppers:

I should have veggies and tomatoes (aren’t they technically a fruit?) in about 60 days. WHIPPEE!!!

Second-We.Are.Going.To.Hawaii!!!!! WHIPPEE x2! My husband gave me a very good piece of advice about 2 years ago. When I wanted a baby BAD, I bugged and bugged and bugged him about it. He told me “If you stop talking about it, I’ll want a baby faster.” I didn’t say a word from that point on and what do you know? A month later he was ready for a baby. So I pulled the same tactic here and have not mentioned Hawaii for a week or so. Well last night he showed me a picture of a bike with a bike trailer for a kid (we’ve been looking into renting these locally) and he said “Doesn’t that look neat?” and I said “Yeah…we’ve been looking at those for a few days…” and he said “Yes, but this one is in Kauai!” I’m so excited-we’re going in September.

Third-Since we’re going to Hawaii in September we have to look at dates and Lucy’s birthday is in September (on the 22nd to be exact). I don’t want to be in Hawaii for her actual birthday since I’d like her to have a cupcake on her birthday and she’s allergic to both dairy and soy. Which means I’ll need to make her birthday cupcake for her and even though we’ll have a kitchen at the condo where we’re staying, making cupcakes would be difficult. I know a silly reason but a very valid one to me. Additionally, I want Lucy’s birthday party to be close to her birthday and if we went to Hawaii over her birthday that would cancel out the 2 weekends closest to her birthday. Which brings me to my point. You still with me? I’m an super planner person and so I’ve been thinking about Lucy’s first birthday party for quite some time. I’m not alone though because Shaun said to me 2 weeks ago, “wouldn’t the park be a perfect place for Lucy’s birthday party.” My thoughts exactly sir! Her party is going to be Very Hungry Caterpillar themed and then that theme will no longer be an option because I don’t want Lucy or myself to OD on it. I also want to do cupcakes for the party and thought that I would make them in the shape of the caterpillar. Well a foodie friend of mine (who has not heard my plans) just sent me a blogpost to show me this picture:

Other very cute cakes can be seen here.

I doubt I can do the fondant but this was very close to what I was imagining so now I have a blue print!

See? Those were 3 very exciting things!

I miss it but I’m so uninspired! Argh. I spend all my time on the dang computer.

In exciting news I’m going tomorrow to get some EarthBoxes so that I can grow tomatoes, cucumbers, and bell peppers on my 12’x5′ balcony. Urban Farming! I’m seriously SO excited-I can’t wait. Maybe this will make me excited about food again?

Last weekend Lucy and I had a playdate and my friend Laurin took this picture of Lucy and me-I love it!

I had to dig into the last of my freezer stash this week and use up all of my frozen breastmilk. What this means is that I have to produce enough in my pumping sessions everyday to replace what Lucy eats at daycare. She normally eats 16 ounces a day. I used to produce about 20 ounces a day. It dropped down to 14 ounces and then I started using all the tricks I talk about here. And I bumped my production back up to about 15-18 ounces a day (yes I have a spreadsheet). In recent weeks my supply is more like 10-14 ounces a day-not the 16 that I need. I can counteract this by pumping over the weekend and using that to supplement what I pump during the week but by the end of the week I’m all out of breastmilk. So I’ve started supplementing with 1-4 ounces of formula a day. Slight issue-my baby is allergic to milk and it turns out allergic to soy. Most formulas are milk or soy based. I called Lucy’s pediatrician yesterday to ask for a prescription for hypo-allergenic formula (which is really expensive) and thankfully they gave me 5 cans of the stuff (saving me like $200). They also recommended that I start drinking a beer every night! They said that the yeast used in the fermentation process helps with milk supply (which would explain why Brewer’s yeast is helpful). The advice nurse recommended O’Doul’s but screw that-I’m gonna have a real beer! I already drink occasionally-very little gets through into breastmilk and I almost always do it after Lucy has gone down for the night. If I have to choke down a beer (I really don’t like the taste) I’m going to drink the real thing! I did get the O’Doul’s last night because I wasn’t sure if the recommendation was O’Doul’s specific-it’s not. The O’Doul’s actually wasn’t that bad but I do think I’m going to become a Guiness girl. I’m going to try at least. Let’s hope this works!

I said I was going to write everyday and then didn’t even write yesterday. It’s like exercise for me lately-I have the best intentions and then life gets in the way.

I had a major Mommy fail yesterday. After picking Lucy up from daycare and doing our nightly routine sans Shaun (he was mountain biking), I had to finish up some work. I worked from 7:30-10:15. Ate dinner at 10:15 and then couldn’t sleep so Shaun and I watched So You Think You Can Dance until midnight. Of course Lucy woke up and I was up until 12:30 and then had to get up at 6:30 with her. That’s not enough sleep for this Mommy and I did it to myself. Oh well. SYTYCD was totally worth it. I do need to eat before 10 o’clock though. I went from noon to 10 PM with no food-that’s not good.

Food has been really unappetizing lately. I think I’m so overwhelmed that thinking about eating and food just adds more to my day and I end up resenting it. <--I know-who is this person and what did you do with Chelsea?!?!?! Like now, I need to eat lunch, I didn't have time to pack anything, and the food that I can buy here I refuse to eat. We get different deliveries each day at work and I got the worst food poisoning of my life from the food vendor today. So I need to go get something and I just really don't want to be bothered. Sigh. I've been eating freaking vegan protein bars every morning for breakfast, I'm not even doing oatmeal. I think I need to get out of this food funk. It doesn't help that my fruit and veggie delivery totally flaked the last 2 weeks and I don't have any fruit or veggies in the house. That reminds me I need to cancel that service. One missed week? Annoying. Two missed weeks? You no longer get my business. Okay, off to solve the food issue.

I think you get the point. I had originally wanted to write here every day if not more than that but my life has just gone nutso. I want to write everyday and write about what’s going on so I’m going to try to post every day now.

It’s 1:50 pm and I’m sitting here in my pajamas. Meetings started at 7 am for me and I have yet another meeting at 2 so real clothes aren’t going to happen until sometime after 3. Why bother with real clothes? I need to go to the grocery store, or else you’d better believe that I’d just wear my pjs all day.

Our long weekend was nice although Lucy is teething and going through some MAJOR separation anxiety which led to a very grumpy/crying baby. What happened to my happy go lucky baby? She’s still super smiley but she’s been crying at the drop of a hat (huge crocodile tears too) and if she can’t see me, she’s basically crying. She’s okay at daycare but at home she wants to be in my presence at all times. It makes for one tired Mommy.

Someone asked us if she was sleeping through the night and Shaun had the best response ever: “She sleeps through the night for just long enough for it to mess with our heads when she doesn’t.” She’ll have weeks where she’ll sleep from 7:30-6:30 with no peep and then she’ll completely regress and I’ll be getting up every few hours. Last night she went down at 7:30 and then was up at 8:30, 12:30, 2:30, 3:30, 5, and then up for the day at 6:15. I let her sleep on my chest last night from 12:30-3:30 and then from 5-6:15. I knew I had an early morning meeting that I had to lead so I couldn’t fight with her and just brought her to bed with me. She wimpered all night long through her sleep so I know she’s in pain from her teeth. I gave her Motrin but it can only do so much. I don’t think that there’s anything else wrong with her. I hope not at least! She’s not pulling her ears, she doesn’t have gas, she’s not constipated. But she is chewing on EVERYTHING and her gums are swollen.

We had a really fun and active weekend. I didn’t think about work once and that was really nice. Here’s some cute pictures:

In Sausalito:

Crying because Mommy put her down for 30 seconds (seriously!):

She also started taking steps this weekend! We got video of it and need to post it to her blog. She’s been standing (with support) since December. In the last few weeks she’s started pulling up on Shaun and me but would just stand there-no foot movement. This weekend she started taking steps while we hold her hands. It’s scary and exciting all at once!