Wow the last few days have been really difficult.  Lucy got the flu and it went from bad to worse.  Work is absolutely crazy right now and I couldn’t take a sick day so I spent yesterday at home with a coughing, congested, snotty, and PUKING Lucy while trying to get work done.  I did get it done but it was really difficult.  I felt like I was being a half good Mom and a half good Employee.  No good.  No good at all.

Lucy was better today and Shaun and I decided that she was okay to go to daycare.  She hadn’t had a temp since Sunday and hadn’t puked since noon on Monday. But when I got her to daycare and saw her next to healthy kids I realized how sick she still was.  She was better but being better from really sick still isn’t good.  It took me forever to leave daycare and when I did I just burst into tears.  I called Shaun and asked if he could come home during a meeting that I absolutely had to go to with no Lucy on my lap.  He said he could so I got off the freeway and went back to daycare to pick up Lucy.  I felt like such a BAD MOM leaving her there and I’m glad I was able to pick her up.

She was better today and I considered taking her back to daycare around 11 (all she needed was a really good nap) but Shaun took a 2 hour lunch and let me get work done and have my meeting.  This afternoon Lucy was like a whole new person-YAY!

Most of the time I’m really happy to be a working Mom.  The last 2 days? Not.At.All. I wish I could have just been Lucy’s Mommy and that’s it 🙁

I’m working from home and taking care of her and it doesn’t leave much time for anything extra.  I’ll be back when I have a healthy kid!

Little Lucy is sick 🙁  She has a pretty bad cough and had a fever of 101.4 this morning.  I gave  her Motrin and it’s down to 100-which isn’t considered a fever for a baby (100.3 and higher is considered a fever) but she’s still feeling pretty ooky.

Shaun is out mountain biking with his mountain bike boot camp-he’s an instructor and couldn’t really miss, nor would I want him to.  When he gets home, I’m going to run the errands on my list.

I have my grocery list all ready to go.  For those of you iPhone users, I use Groceries, to make my list.  I LOVE IT! I no longer need a pen and paper when I go to the grocery store.  All I need is my phone and wallet.  You can keep multiple lists for multiple stores on it-I’m going to Whole Foods and Trader Joes today.  And it allows you to add things that aren’t in their database really easily.  My only complaint is that it assumes that you buy the same stuff every week and it’s kind of a pain to clear off the list and start over-well it takes 2 additional steps.

On the menu this week?

-Chicken Tacos

-Stuffed Peppers

-Pork Loin with Leeks and Potatoes

-Bul Kogi-Korean BBQ meat from Traders-one of Shaun’s favorites!

Lucy’s giving me wet sloppy kisses on the cheek right now-it’s the cutest thing ever!  She woke up so I gotta go.  She loved the butternut squash by the way!

My days of sleeping in are over.  Babies internal clocks don’t understand the concept of sleeping in on the weekends.  Good thing I was in bed asleep by 10:15 last night.  No partying here-unless you consider drinking 1 hard cider partying.

Lucy woke up at 5:45 and I went in and fed her hoping that I could get her to go back down.  No dice.  I even tried putting her on my chest in bed with us-still no dice.  I got up to change her and come out here and pump/blog.  Yes I still have to pump on the weekends.  My freezer stash is down to 5 ounces.  I had it up 100 ounces and then my supply took a big hit and I wasn’t producing enough during the workday to replace what she was eating.  Add to that my out of town work trip without her and my freezer stash was completely depleted.  Yesterday was actually the first  day in a long time that I pumped enough at work to replace what she ate at daycare.  I usually have to throw one more pumping in there-either in the morning or evening.  I feel like my life is consumed by pumping but I also feel like it’s worth it.

I remember when “pump” used to refer to a class at the gym-not anymore!

Potty Training

This may be wishful thinking but we think Lucy may be easy to potty train. At almost every changing she either pees or poos or both with her diaper off.  It’s so prevelant that we have a washcloth on the changing table and as soon as her diaper comes off the wash cloth goes under her booty.  Today she decided to do both and her diaper was almost dry  from the night before.  Only time will tell!

To Do This Weekend

• Finish Cleaning
• Take Lucy to Swim Lessons
• Shop for the week
• Cook as much as I can for the week
• Make baby food
• Laundry
• Go to the Mall to pick up some replacement Bare Minerals
• Pump 2-3 more times 🙁
• Have some fun!

I am feeling so much better today.  My day of rest really did help. Just in time for the weekend too-you can’t ask for much more than that!

Stop Counting

One of my goals has been to STOP COUNTING.  I’m not counting calories anymore.  I’m just trying to eat sanely and stop when I’m full.  I’ve been doing that for about a week now and I’m feeling like a normal person and not like a food obsessed crazed person.  Part of STOP COUNTING is that I’m trying not to weigh myself.  I used to be a daily weigher and now I’m trying to just gauge on how my clothes look and feel.  I need to put the scale away though because it’s right there in my bathroom calling my name every time I’m in there.  This morning the temptation was too much and I stepped on it.  Holy sneikies!  Since the last time I weighed (~2 weeks ago) I’ve lost 5 pounds.  Yes 5 pounds!!!  I’m 2 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight.  Part of me says “keep weighing, you can control your obsession-this is great!” but the sane part of me says “put the scale away-if that thing says you gained a pound tomorrow you’re going to use it as an excuse to overeat.” I’m putting the scale at the back of the front closet tonight-I would throw it away but we use it to weigh suitcases and I’m the master 49.5 pound packer and the scale is essential for this!  This crazy weigh in did convince me to try on some pre-pregnancy clothing and what do you know?  They fit.  That’s cool.  My body has definitely changed since giving birth but old clothes are fitting and my wardrobe possibilities are about to explode!  My co-workers will be so happy.  I’m sure they’re sick and tired of seeing the same 2 pairs of pants and 5 shirts.  Who am I kidding?  No one cares but me.  So-I thank me-I’m tired of wearing the same 2 pairs of pants and 5 shirts!

Format of the Being Chelsea

I’ve been thinking about what I want this space to be and how to best achieve that.  First and foremost I want it to be a place where I document what is happening in my every day life.  Especially with Lucy.  I want to cherish all the moments I can and write them down so I don’t forget.  The other thing I want to do is write down everything I’m learning.  I’m the first of most of my friends to go through having a baby and I don’t want to forget all these tips.  I love to research baby stuff and I feel like it’s hard to find information out there, even though there is a lot of it.  I’m going to start compiling the things that I’ve learned in a (hopefully) daily post.  So I’ll be writing in the mornings before work (on the train) about what’s going on and then I’ll be posting later in the day at one of my 3 pump sessions about useful tips and tricks.  Stay tuned for sending breastmilk to daycare later today!

I can’t leave this subject without talking about Shaun.  He has spent the last 2 nights creating Being Chelsea and making it look the way it does.  None of the templates that WordPress offers had exactly what I wanted but I’m lucky enough to have an amazing husband who knows how to program.  He was talking last night about things that he wants to do to update his blog but that he hasn’t had the time.  Yet he’s been sitting down with me to make Being Chelsea look just the way I want it (awwww). We’re still refining but so far I’m pretty happy with the look.  He doesn’t like that it’s floating with no containers (how is that for geeky speak?) but I love my “floating” blog.  All that really means is that there are very few lines and boxes on the blog which I think makes it look very clean.

Speaking of Clean

Everyone tells you when you have a kid that your house will never be clean again.  Shaun and I are very clean people and we just kind of nodded our heads and laughed on the inside.  And, our house has stayed clean-up until the past few weeks.  The first issue was that I had to travel for work and was gone for a night, then my Mom came to visit the next weekend, then the next weekend we went camping, and then this past weekend we went to the beach, oh and then I got sick.  With all this upheaval, my house is a DISASTER.  Look at my kitchen: Well nevermind, the picture didn’t upload before I came into work, so that will have to wait!

This weekend will be spent cleaning the mess.  Actually tonight and tomorrow morning will be spent cleaning the mess because our cleaning lady (who does the kitchen, dusts, and the bathrooms-all the stuff I just don’t have time for) comes tomorrow and she needs to be able to actually clean.  I can’t wait for my weekend so that I can catch up on all the stuff we’ve been putting off while out having fun.

Lucy

I just did a huge photo dump of Lucy on her website.  So many of the pictures you see here are duplicated there.  I think in the future it will be the reverse.  You’ll see pictures here first and then they’ll go over there for “family consumption”.  Some pictures won’t ever go over there and some won’t ever come here.  Her blog is really just to talk about her and keep the relatives and friends up to date.  I’m buying an Eye-Fi photo card later today so this place will start having many more pictures.  Shaun and I have been talking about getting one for months and we’re finally ready to take the plunge. I know Kath has had some issues with her but I think that overall we’ll really like it.

As for what’s really going on with Lucy. She’s started making consonant “B” sounds last week.  She concentrated really hard made the form with her lips and then a “buh” would escape.  “Buh”‘s are getting easier and easier for her and now she’s moved on to “mah” and “puh”.  Interestingly no “Duh” yet.  Usually kids say “Da Da” before “Ma Ma” but so far she’s on her way to “Ma Ma” (YAY!).  Watch, now that I’ve said that she’ll start saying “Da Da” tonight-which is fine by me.  I just love experiencing it!

She’s developed a new way to wake Mommy up in the morning.  She normally wakes up smiling and making all sorts of noises.  I let her do that while I catch some additional ZZZZ’s-she’s happy and more sleep makes for a happy Mommy.  Now,she gets her legs up on the crib (kind of like legs up the wall for those who know yoga) and bangs them really hard.  I go running because I know one of these days she’s going to haul herself up and out of the crib-scary! That little girl is too smart-she knows how to get her Mommy running!

I’ll leave you today with one of my favorite pictures of us.  Our friend Jen took it and commented that Lucy is “glowing”.  She really is!

I came down with a head cold on Monday and my life has been too crazy for me to sit down and take care of myself which has resulted in me feeling worse and not better.  I’m taking a sick day today to try and recover-it’s time for this Mommy to feel better!

I took Lucy to daycare this morning and it feels really odd to be at home without her.  Shaun thought though that it was a good idea for me to have some time to truly rest and I have to say that I agree.  I’ll be picking Lucy up early today but in the meantime I thought I’d write here and then go take an uninterrupted nap!  Something I haven’t had in a very.long.time.  At least 7 months or so!

Last night was a doozy.  Lucy went down around 7:45 and woke up at 11:45.  She didn’t go back down until 1:45.  Shaun tried to help me (after I yelled at him-sorry honey!) but lately Lucy really wants nothing to do with Daddy at night.  She gets mad when he goes in there and wakes up even more.  As I was rocking her she kept rubbing her eyes.  I knew that I had eaten something that had potential for having milk in it (Lucy is allergic to milk and since I’m nursing her I can’t eat ANYTHING with milk).  I thought she may be having an allergic reaction.  I got the children’s Benadryl out and of course it has no dosings for a baby.  I decided to call my pediatrician’s answering service and ask.  They nurse who called me back?  Was so.annoying.  Basically, some doctors don’t like to give babies Benadryl because it makes them super sleepy and they miss feedings.  So this call center nurse didn’t want to give me the dosing instructions (1/4 tsp for her weight-I looked it up), but kept trying to diagnose her itchy eyes over the phone at 1:15 am.  At this point Lucy was calming down and I just wanted to put her to sleep but I have help cat on the phone telling me to wash her face with a warm wash cloth and that pollen counts are high right now.  I was able to get her down after getting off the phone with him.  I didn’t use the Benadryl and it was probably my lack of sleep, my first time Mom-ness, and my being REALLY sick that made me thing that Benadryl was a good idea in the first place.

So, I get to back to bed at 1:45 and Lucy wakes up at 5.  I feed her, try to put her back down and she’s not having it.  I tried to put her in bed with us, she wants to play.  I finally woke Shaun up and told him that I needed some sleep (in a much nicer way than I did at midnight).  He got up with her and I was able to sleep until 7.

What is it with guys and not hearing babies? I was doped up on Benadryl last night and I still heard Lucy as soon as she woke up at 11:45.  Shaun didn’t even stir.  Same thing at 5 am.  I was sure last night that he was doing it just to spite me and because he really hated me.  Isn’t it nice what sleep deprivation and feeling like poo will do to your mind?  My husband is probably one of the most hands-on fathers I have ever seen and makes it very clear multiple times a day that he loves me very much. Exhausted Chelsea didn’t think so.

Well, I’ve gotta go pump and then I’m taking a nap.  I’ll leave you with one of my favorite pictures of Lucy:

Titles are going to be difficult to think of so I’ll start the blog with that-Hello World!

I’m really excited to start writing here.  I haven’t been writing as much as I’ve wanted in the past few months and I’ve missed it.  I’m hoping that Being Chelsea will be just the outlet I need to get it out of my head and down on “paper”.  When I made the decision to leave where I was journaling before I started looking back at my old entries and they said so much.  I wrote with abandon during my pregnancy and I’m so happy that I have a record of that to save and hopefully one day show Lucy.  I hope this can be that too.  If no one visits, I’m okay with that.  A year ago? I wouldn’t have been okay with that.  I’m not looking for validation.  I’m just looking to get it all down.  If others enjoy it, then great!  If not, oh well.