First of all, thank you so much for the thoughtful comments on my earlier post.  It was cathartic to get it out and I felt better after I did but then to come back and see the support was just good for my soul. Thank you.

Many people made the comment that I’m not what I eat.  At first I was like “duh.” and then it hit me “I’m not what I eat.” It was a very powerful realization.  I can be a successful person regardless of what goes into my mouth, hmmm.

I’ve said too many times to count that I want to only put food in my mouth that I would feed Lucy.  I think that’s a first step and I need to focus on that.

I’ve been in therapy on and off since I was 18.  I find it extremely useful.  My last therapist always fired me though and said I didn’t need her and that I was fine.  I’ve gone to her 3 different times and eventually she tells me that I’m okay and that I don’t need to come back.  I think I could still really benefit from therapy and maybe it’s time to find a new therapist.  I’ve tried so many times on my own to become sane about food and it’s never worked. So, that’s Monday’s task-find a new therapist.

I just got back from Whole Foods where I went grocery shopping for the week.  Lu and I had lunch beforehand from the salad bar.

That’s a bed of spinach and mixed greens with black quinoa (yummy), grilled tofu (kinda bland), red peppers, peas, shredded beats, pepitas, 1 small falafel and hummus. Oh and I put a squirt of pomegranate vinaigrette on top.

I also got some Vegan Carrot Ginger Soup:

The base was coconut milk so I made sure not to eat it all.  I actually made sure to assess my fullness throughout the meal and this is where I stopped.

I ate less than half of the soup and brought the rest home for later.

Lu had a good lunch too of falafel, peas, black beans, garbanzo beans, tomatoes, broccoli, hard boiled egg, and cucumber.

We both had a sample of a cherry from Chile-she loved them and had 2 (and begged for more).  I couldn’t bring myself to buy something from Chile-well that’s not true-I do buy avocados, mangos and bananas from Chile.  For some reason I make an exception for those things.  Mangos and bananas I understand-you can’t really get those here but avocados?

She also had some mango samples.  We both had a sample of lemon chicken-and I bought the marinade.  The creator of the marinade was actually there and it was really good with a super short and healthy ingredient list.  We also tasted a small piece of beef with a BBQ marinade-it was good but I thought one bottle was enough.

I’m sitting here 2 hours later and I am still very full and satiated. Yay for that.

Lu has pink eye 🙁 So we are just chilling out at home until her eye drops do their work. No germ spreading here!  She is VERY serious about her food.

I decided to join in on the Cheerios action this morning.  You get a lot of Cheerios for 100 calories!

And, surprisingly, there is no HFCS.  Yes, there’s sugar but no HFCS.

I’ve seen a lot worse.

In looking at the label I was shocked to find that they have a specific serving size for “Children Under 4” 3/4s a cup vs. 1 cup.

Do you think that’s General Mills way of “fighting” childhood obesity?

In fact, according to this article, the FDA has specific rules for labels for foods for children under 4.

…the labels for foods for children under 4 cannot show how the amounts of some nutrients correspond to Daily Values – recommended daily intakes. The reason is because Daily Values for some nutrients, such as fat, fiber and sodium, have not been established for children under 4. This is because current dietary recommendations do not specify appropriate levels for young children. FDA has set Daily Values only for vitamins, minerals and protein for this age group because the National Academy of Sciences has established appropriate levels of these nutrients for this age group in the Recommended Dietary Allowances. FDA incorporated those recommendations in the Daily Values.

Wow, you learn something new everyday.

To completely change the subject 🙂 I’ve been doing a ton of thinking lately about my weight.  It is not changing and I’m frustrated. I know that I need to just need to eat less.  I find though that I feel entitled to be satiated at every moment.

I think this stems from 3 things. 

1. Training for the Ironman. When I was training for the Ironman, I had to eat and keep my calories up-it was essential to good training and taking care of my body.

2. Pregnancy and nursing. I followed up eating for an Ironman to eating for a baby.  It’s pretty essential not to be hungry when you’re preggers or nursing. You shouldn’t stuff yourself but you should try to lose weight either.

3. Food Blogs. I read a lot of food blogs and they all give themselves treats almost (if not) everyday. The difference between them and me? None of them are trying to lose 30 pounds.  They are all either right at or maybe just above where they want to be body wise so they can afford to eat a treat (or 2 or 3) everyday.  I can’t.

When I was successful for weight loss there were many times when I thought I was hungry or wanted something else but I didn’t eat it because I was at my calories for the day. You know what? I didn’t die. Maybe I wasn’t completely satiated but I sure as hell didn’t die and I did lost weight.  I need to get back in that mindset again.

Right now I’m trying to net 1500 calories-meaning that if I burn 300 calories that day-I eat 1800 calories for a net of 1500 calories. All too often now, I’ll be at 1500 net calories for the day and I’ll want dessert.  Rather than not having it because I’m at my calorie limit for the day, I’ll just eat it because “I deserve it.” Yeah, that needs to stop and needs to stop now.

When you’re trying to lose weight, do you find yourself hungry?

I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.  The dude on American Idol last night basically made my night AND my day today.  Shaun and I sang that “song” for a good 20 minutes after we were done watching. I don’t care if you’re an AI hater, this guy is classic and you have to check it out.  As Simon Cowell said “I have a horrible feeling that song could be a hit.” Seriously.  Did you see his 62-year old self doing those push-ups?  Impressive.

I got home last night to a package from Goodwill.

I was seriously confused.  Why was Goodwill sending me something?  I got kind of upset that they were wasting trees sending me this big package.  Then, I opened it.

It was a used book from Amazon’ target=_blank>Amazon that my sister got me.  How smart of Goodwill to sell books over Amazon’ target=_blank>Amazon? My sister has been raving about this book. I can’t wait to read it. I love this quote from the book:

"You can’t control or dictate the quantity of food your child eats, and you shouldn’t try. You also can’t control or dictate the kind of body your child develops, and you shouldn’t try. What you can do, and it is a great deal, is set things up for your child so she, herself, can regulate her food intake as well as possible, and so she can develop a healthy body that is constitutionally right for her."

I like it already.

Even though I was up way to late singing and dancing to “Pants on the Ground”, I got up this morning and went to Boot Camp.  Another phenomenal class.  And? I only said 1 bad thing to myself and I caught myself halfway through and said “That’s not true, be nice to yourself.” It was a MAJOR breakthrough.

In an effort to get out of the house by 7:20 (per my husband’s request-he likes to be AT work by 7:30), I’ve started doing my make-up in the car once I get to work. I didn’t touch it while driving.  I did, sit in the parking lot this morning and apply.

It worked really well and it got us out of the house by 7:20. Score.

I didn’t use to wear make-up but when I got pregnant, I got bags under my eyes, and they haven’t really ever went away.  So now, I wear make-up.  I guess that means I’m getting older 🙂

Do you wear make-up? If so, what are your essentials?

I’m a Bare Minerals, eye shadow, and mascara kinda girl myself.

This recipe is so easy and delicious. I’ve doubled and tripled it before to freeze ahead and it works really well.  You can use it for tacos, enchiladas, tamales-the possibilities are endless!  It’s based on this recipe from Recipe Zaar, with some modifications.

Ingredients:

-1 lb chicken breast
-1 cup chicken broth
-1 TBSP cumin
-1 tsp chili powder
-2 tsp onion flakes
-1/2 tsp garlic powder
-1/4 tsp salt
-1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

Instructions:

-Place all ingredients in a crock pot, making sure that the spices are incorporated with the chicken broth.

-Cook on low for 6-8 hours. I’m away from the house for 10 hours, so I cook on low for 6 hours and then my crock pot switches to “warm” and it works perfectly.

-Shred meat with a fork and stir it really well to incorporate all the liquid.

-If you freeze it, make sure to include the liquid.

-Serve with all the fixins’-My spread included salsa, guacamole, hot sauce, tomatoes, sour cream and cheese (both dairy and non-dairy), and beans atop corn tortillas.

-Enjoy!

Shaun loves this (even though it’s chicken breast!). He gave it a 4.  Lu loved it too and couldn’t get enough tonight.  It’s so easy and always a hit.

Marketing totally worked on me this morning.  I got in the car and turned on the radio to the local morning show.  Sarah and Vinnie were talking about the free oatmeal that Jamba Juice brought into them today.  “It’s vegan! They make it with soy milk!” they say.  I think “ohh, that sounds good.” And then the deciding factor, “Today is Resolution Wednesday at Jamba and oatmeal is only $1.” SOLD.

That puppy only cost me $1.09. YIPPEE!

I also had some juice.

2 Carrots, 1 Apple, 1 Meyer Lemon

I had put the brakes on juice while I’ll let my tummy heal but I ate a RAW carrot last night with no issues so I decided that juice was back on the menu.  It was good and I’m so glad my tummy feels okay.  I also added 1 TBSP of Acai fiber to it. I LOVE me some juice! (and not the Mark McGwire kind).

Wednesdays are my rest days but I inevitably mess up my one hour of additional sleep by staying up too late the night before I get to “sleep in”.  Last night it was American Idol’s fault (so much better without Paula) and then I got interested in Shuan’s book.  He’s reading Freakanomics and it was talking about naming children and trends.  I LOVE that stuff so I read along.  I often lay on his shoulder at night and read what he’s reading and then we talk about it.  Does anyone else do that?  Or am I a freak?

I did get up this morning and throw some chicken in the crock pot for chicken tacos.  Look for the recipe tonight-it’s one of my favorites.

Lastly today, one of my twitter peeps mommattorney (who I LOVE-we have a lot in common) and who comments here sometimes posted a FASCINATING article on HFCS and Agave “Nectar”:

http://www.westonaprice.org/Agave-Nectar-Worse-Than-We-Thought.html

I read this piece when it came out last year and then completely forgot about it. Of particular interests:

Agave syrup is a manmade sweetener which has been through a complicated chemical refining process of enzymatic digestion that converts the starch and fiber into the unbound, manmade chemical fructose. While high fructose agave syrup won’t spike your blood glucose levels, the fructose in it may cause mineral depletion, liver inflammation, hardening of the arteries, insulin resistance leading to diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and obesity.

I highly recommend that you read the whole article.

Thoughts?

Lucy had her performance tonight.  They did Wheels on the Bus and Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.

They had all the parents sitting in one of the classrooms on teeny tiny chairs.

Here’s Lucy coming in for her big moment:

She was happy and smiley at first:

Then she realized that there was a big crowd of STRANGERS watching her, she cuddled up to her friend Carter and looked like a deer in the headlights:

(I know it’s blurry, but she seriously stood there for a good 45 seconds just.like.that).

And then she decided that it was all too much and cuddled Miss Tisha:

And she pretty much stayed that way the entire rest of the time :(  Poor thing.

If you REALLY want the full experience, I posted a video to You Tube.  It’s over 3 minutes long and is really low res and she basically just stands there.  It’s kinda sad but I captured her first performance!  It’s only up from here, right?

No worries-she recovered!

Why yes, that IS black bean brownie all over my child and she IS reaching for more.  She LOVED the black bean brownie.  She came OUT OF HER ROOM before bed to ask for some more.  We had to deny that request.

I keep dreaming of this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

I miss Hawaii.  It’s beautiful there. I wish I had had my good camera when we went.  Guess I’ll have to go back =D

Okay, back to real life.  Did you see the Black Bean Brownies from last night? The comments have been cracking me up all morning.

I got up this morning at 5:30 and made it to boot camp-no butts hanging out today!  It was an awesome workout. My HRM wasn’t working (it showed either “00” or “213” for my heart rate), but I know that it was awesome.  She told me “good job” on the way out-that always makes me want to come back 🙂 This class is always hard for my self-confidence because I am by far the biggest person in the class BUT I’m not the most out of shape anymore!  So that’s a self confidence boost! Does anyone else do that? See if you are the biggest person in the room?  I really need to stop-it’s mean to me AND? it’s mean to everyone else around me.  Old habits die hard.

Today is Lucy’s “Winter Gala” where she’ll be performing with her class!  I can’t wait! I have no clue what a bunch of 1 years olds will do. I have the video camera all ready to go.  This should be awesome.

I had planned to have butternut squash raviolis for dinner tonight.  I was going to make Shaun and Lu some chicken to go with them and I was just going to eat the raviolis.  They were meat free and dairy free-I thought I was golden.  Turns out they had egg :( 

The plan of attack right now is to be super nice to my tummy and then to slowly add stuff back in to see what I can and can’t eat.  Since I’m still in that “being super nice to my tummy” stage, I thought it would be better to steer clear of the eggs for tonight. Instead of feeling like, poor, pitiful me I decided to embrace my tummy and make myself some of Happy Herbivore’s Black Bean Brownies. Beans are supposedly okay if they are blended well, and they are in this recipe.  Plus the twitter world is all abuzz over these things.

I got all the ingredients out:

Yep, that’s all of them. Plopped them in the food processor:

Processed it up:

I tasted the batter at this point, and The Happy Herbivore was right, it doesn’t taste like black beans-not one bit.

Ready to go in the oven:

Just out of the oven:

Completely cooled and cut:

And topped with banana ice “cream”:

The verdict? It was good…but not brownie like.  The cinnamon makes them decidedly not brownie like. It’s more like a Mexican Chocolate cake.  You can also definitely tell that it’s not made with flour-you wouldn’t guess beans though. 

Would I make them again? Yes-with a little less cinnamon though. I may just make them again to eat the batter-yum.

Would Shaun eat them? “Not with a ten foot poll” he says.

They ARE a pretty great and fun way to get some protein in!

I sent out 11 packages on Friday!

Everybody who won the pumpkin butter challenge should be getting their butter very soon.  I also sent out some belated Christmas gifts and some just because gifts.  It was fun 🙂

I also received 2 fantastic packages last week.  The first was a replacement of the best water bottle ever. Period.  It IS the best.  Once you have one of these, you’ll never go back.  I left mine at a restaurant in McCall and I immediately got on Amazon to order a replacement.  When I got it, I sang and danced and hugged it.  I’m not joking.  What is the magical water bottle you ask?

It’s a Contigo BPA Free Water Bottle. It’s literally the best water bottle ever.  I already said that, didn’t I?  I love this thing.

You don’t have to unscrew anything to drink from it and the clip is awesome. LOVE IT.

The other, very exciting package was a new pot!

It’s a Calphalon Stockpot. I got it for CHEAP, $40-it’s normally $168 so I did a little jig after that one too.  It’s still on sale, I think it’s around $63 now though.

Yay for boiling 2 pots of water!!!

I’ve only used it to make pasta thus far but it boils water fast 🙂 I’m so excited to have 2 stock pots now.  This will make weekend cooking so.much.easier. Shaun wasn’t excited about another pot, but I made it fit, so that’s all that counts 🙂

To change gears completely. I have some cute Lu pictures :)  Last night she was playing XBox with Daddy:

And this morning I was trying to get a picture of her cute outfit to show Auntie Laina (who gave her said outfit) and she decided that she’d rather show y’all part of my lunch:

The hair definitely makes her look like a big girl!

Here’s a better shot of the outfit:

Gotta have your string cheese at all times, right?

I did a kickass spin class this morning and now I’m ready for the day.  I can feel it folks, it’s going to be a GREAT week!

As I stated earlier, my 30 goals are a work in progress.  I’m not going to hit all of them every week and I’m not going to be 100% on them every week and that’s okay. It’s not about perfection, it’s about trying and learning.  And let me tell you, I’m trying!

So, how’d I do this week?  Let’s take a look:

1. Stop putting myself down.  Treat me like I would want others to treat Lucy. This one is hard.  I’ve been working on it and I’d say that I’m much more aware that I’m doing it and much better at stopping it.

2. Eat something green every day. I was going great guns on this one until my stomach affliction hit this weekend.  I ate something green every day but Saturday and Sunday.  Once my tummy is under control, I’ll be back at it!

3. Eat 2 servings of fruit every day. Check!

4. Completely cut out dairy except yogurt. The first half of the week? Not so much. Now? DEFINITELY.

5. Get back on my bike. Not yet, but I did spin twice this week.

6. Do something only for me 1 hour each week. Check! I went to knit night this week AND? I slept in until 10 today 🙂

7. Do something with Shaun that doesn’t include me sitting on the computer and him on the XBox or us watching TV for 1 hour each week. Check. Although we watched a lot of TV together this week.  I’d like to try and play a card game or something in the next week.

8. Dress nicely, including putting on make-up, at least 3 times a week. Check! I thought this was 4 times a week-HA! I did this 4 times last week.

9. Clean out Lucy’s drawers. I haven’t started this yet.

10. Clean out and organize the filing cabinet. I haven’t started this yet.

11. Complete Lucy’s birth book. Not yet.

12. Become a faster walker. If you can speed train for running, you can sure as hell do it for walking. I’m working on it!

13. Send out thank you notes in a more timely fashion and to everyone that deserves one. I have a box of thank you notes sitting here waiting to be filled out after I’m done here.

14. Lose 30 pounds or fit comfortably into my size 4-6 clothing. Working on it!

15. Save my personal money for a new wardrobe. There’s $150 in there and I haven’t touched it.

16. Be on top of my budget and update Quicken every 2 weeks. I’ll do this on the 15th!

17. Severely limit my computer and phone time when I’m with Lucy.  On weekdays, I should never use them when she’s awake and on weekends, I should use them sparingly when she’s awake. Check!

18. Get the bird out 4 times a week. I only got her out 3 times.  But I did give her a bath yesterday-can that count for 2?

19. To appease my husband, never let the gas tank get below 1/2 a tank. Check! This one is NO FUN but I’ve been doing it.

20. Improve on my photography. Hmmmm, I’m trying.

And the original 10 from the 10 in 2010 post:

1. Take time out every day to simply enjoy my daughter. Check! I love her SO much-this one is pretty easy.

2. Try not to look too far forward or lament the past.  Enjoy NOW. Check!

3. Drink more water-at least 70 ounces per day. Check!

4. Use my juicer A LOT. Check!

5. Go to the gym more often than not. Check! 4 out of 7 days this week.

6. Eat healthfully-don’t put anything in my mouth that I wouldn’t feed Lucy. 6/7 days check! Here’s hoping for 7/7 days next week.

7. Save money. Check! This is going well.

8. Run to the top of Waterdog Lake Road, while pushing Lucy, without stopping and back. Working on it.  I went twice last week.

9. Post at least 365 times in 2010.  I can post 3 times a day or skip a day but I want my average to be 1 post per day. I’m on track.

10. Fold my laundry when it comes out of the dryer. It turns out I have to modify this one.  I’m changing it to “Fold my laundry on the same day it comes out of the dryer.” Since I’m a Mom and Lucy comes first, it’s really difficult to fold things as soon as they come out of the dryer.  It is easy to throw things in a basket and get the next load going.  It’s also easy to do all the folding in one sitting when Lucy is asleep.  I’m okay with changing this one and Shaun is too.  It’s going well 🙂

So, the first week went well. It’s amazing how motivated by goals I am.  I’m hoping I’ll keep it up and get even better.

How about you?  How are your goals going?  What are YOU working on this week?