Today I’m thankful for The Artist’s Way. I’m almost done with the course and it has brought so much perspective to my life.  I just finished Week 10 and it may have been the most impactful chapter that I’ve done.  My therapist was pleasantly surprised with how much I got out of this chapter.  Some gems:

“When we are clear about who we are and what we are doing, the energy flows freely and we experience no strain.” (p163)

“For some people, food is a creativity issue.  Eating sugar or fats or certain carbohydrates may leave them feeling dulled, hung over, unable to focus-blurry. They use food to block energy and change.” (p163)

“We turn to our drug of choice to block our creativity whenever we experience the anxiety of our inner emptiness.” (p165)

“When we are ogling the accomplishments of others, we take our eye away from our own through line.” (p172)

“…We cannot afford to think about who is getting ahead of us and how they don’t deserve it. The desire to be better than can choke off the simple desire to be.” (p173)

“The need to win-now!-is a need to win approval from others. As an antidote, we must learn to approve of ourselves.” (p175)

I’ve realized that sugar is my drug.  Doing some introspection and looking to where I’ve felt the best about what I’m putting into my body and how I feel about my body and life was when I was not eating sugar.  Ever since I made the decision to eat sugar in “moderation” I have felt out of control about food-like an addict.  I haven’t been eating sugar now since February 5th except for 1 day a week where I don’t have any restrictions on what I eat.  I feel like a different person!  The difference in me is AMAZING.  My therapist was worried about that one day a week and thought that I may crave sugar after that day.  I’ve found the exact opposite to be true. It makes me feel awful and so I stop eating it and want nothing to do with it. Last Friday I had some fries (high carb=sugar) and they made me feel ill so I threw them away halfway though.  Who is this person?!?!?! I’m not ravenous all day anymore and I feel good about how I’m fueling my body so yay!

My other vice was my Droid and we all know what I did about that .

So thank you to The Artist’s Way for helping me to see these things and thank you to ME for putting in the work

First, before I get to exercise, I’ll share an awesome picture that the photographer at my brother and SIL’s wedding got of Lu, as a flower girl.

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There’s a few more pictures of the wedding at http://www.danieljireh.com/blog/.  I can’t wait to see them all.  I love that picture.

Now, exercise! In the past year I haven’t exercised as much as I used to.  I stopped because I was having disordered thinking about it.  I was exercising to burn calories.  I wasn’t having fun, I wasn’t enjoying it-I was exercising to eat more. No bueno.

What I’ve come to realize is that I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY like to exercise.  It makes me happy, like REALLY happy.  Got that yet? Exercise makes me REALLY happy . I no longer use a heart rate monitor to track how many calories I burn (I haven’t in about 5 months) and I exercise because I want to. 

As I mentioned yesterday, I’m doing The Artist’s Way and one part of it, are the “Artist’s Dates”.  Artist’s Dates are 2 hour chunks of time where I’m supposed to do something for myself with myself (and no one else) that foster’s my creativity. Some of my dates? Going to get my make-up done and getting a lesson (and buying said make-up).

A recreation:

Going shopping for myself and only myself.  Wandering the aisle’s of art stores to see if anything catches my eye, trying soccer for the first time, RUNNING.  Yes, running.

When I run, it’s my “me” time.  It’s when I reconnect with me and talk to myself.  A LOT gets done in my head when I run.  It’s one of the reasons I love doing it so much and by myself.  I really like to run by myself.  I like being stuck in that ‘ol brain of mine

How about you?  Do you like to exercise?  If you don’t, do you do it anyway? Do you find other ways to be active?

I went to my very first Bikram Yoga class this morning.  Ummm…I’m in love.  I’ve heard people talk about finding their “kind” of yoga and I think this is it for me.  I loved the heat of the room, I loved how excited the instructor was, I loved the sweating, I loved that it brought my heart rate up by stretching not by jumping around.  I loved that I didn’t have to do 1,000 chaturangas (or any for that matter).  I have issues with my shoulders and usually too much yoga can really bother them, I don’t think this will.  The only part that SUCKED was this pose:

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Salabhasana or Locust Pose. O.M.G. My legs where about 2 inches off the ground and my elbows and arms were screaming.  Apparently someone in last night’s class was able to do the  full Scorpion Pose:

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Holy Ow.

I will definitely be going back and SOON!

I woke up at 5 am this morning to take the class.  It was windy outside and it continues to be windy.  I’m really glad I took these pictures on Sunday:

I don’t think there will be any more leaves left on the trees after today.  How amazing is it to live somewhere where there are 4 seasons?  I LOVE it!  The Bay Area had 2 seasons-Sunny and Rainy.  That was it.  All the trees here are so beautiful, they sky has been amazing every morning, the crisp cold air-LOVE!

I’m in a good mood, can you tell?

Today I also wrote in my last page of my journal.

I’ve been trying to write 3 pages every morning since June 21st as part of The Artist’s Way.  For the most part, I’ve written everyday.  I’ve had a few lapses but I really see the benefit of this and try my hardest to write every morning.

With that, I’m going to enjoy this bowl of oats. YOM.